Have you noticed that we live in a disposable era these days? Somewhere along the line in the past thirty years or so we have become "commitment-phobic". This is talked about in the non-profit sector with great regularity as we struggle to find volunteers to staff or even attend everything from youth sports programs to community outreach programs to lodges to churches. Parents no longer step up for the PTA, Little League teams can't find coaches, and Rotary and Lions Clubs have ever decreasing numbers at meetings. Friends have stopped hanging out as gatherings are scheduled and few actually show up.
It can be so discouraging for leaders to believe in the value of something and to hear others give voice to that value as well, but be unwilling to dedicate time to it.
Recently, I asked myself the question, "So where am I seeing people live into commitment??"
My answer sat right in front of me in the form of men who have truly stepped up to the plate when the health of their partners declined. One went to extraordinary lengths when his wife was dying from an inoperable brain tumor. He did everything within his power to make her last year as full and rich with experiences as he could, then he went on to sit by her bedside for months caring for her in the most intimate ways so she could be at home at the end of her life.
Another decades long husband showed incredible, quite commitment as his wife experienced a medical event that may have left her entirely incapacitated (and thankfully, may not). Sleeping in her hospital room so she would feel comforted if she awoke afraid and unable to communicate, gently pulling her gown around her to protect her modesty, and tenderly reassuring her that all would be ok and he would never, ever leave her side.
Yet one more kind, strong, and husband in my circle has been by his wife's side as she has lived with MS during her latter years. He encourages her every step of the way, supports her interests that allow her to have real and important engagement in the world despite her limitations, and he expresses his love unabashedly in front of others.
Commitment matters. Sticking with relationships, be it with organizations or humans matters. Dedicating ourselves to lofty goals and deeper connection with those around us matters. Does it require something of us? Absolutely. What do we gain by committing to something other than ourselves and our own needs? We gain our very souls, we are elevated, and we are eventually transformed by our experiences when we dedicate our time and our hearts to others. We transcend the "it doesn't benefit me" mentality and become the kinds of individuals who can be counted on, whose word means something, and who grow and mature both spiritually and emotionally.
Real commitment may be harder to find these days, but it is still there, quietly being acted out at bedsides and kitchen tables across the world. Seeing it gives me hope. Maybe when you look for it and find it, you too might catch a little glimpse of heaven.
In Light and Love,
Rev. Cindy
