The Gift of Surprise

            There is something almost magical about being surprised by someone you love.

Not startled or caught off guard but genuinely surprised in a way that reminds you that someone was thinking about you, planning for you, caring for you behind the scenes. Recently, our entire congregation pulled off a surprise celebration for Rev. Cindy and her husband, Dominick, in honor of their 40th wedding anniversary. For weeks, people kept the secret. Plans were made. Decorations were gathered. Stories were shared. Smiles were suppressed whenever Cindy happened to walk into a room. What struck me afterward was that the joy wasn’t limited to the recipients. There was tremendous joy among those who were in on the secret. People loved being part of something that would bring happiness to others. The anticipation became part of the gift.

            I’ve noticed that it is often the people who show up unexpectedly who mean the most. Years ago, when my grandmother died, I knew my dear friend, Kathy, my godson’s mother, wouldn’t be able to attend the funeral. I was disappointed but understood completely. Then, just before the service began, I happened to glance out the church window and there she was, walking across the parking lot. I can still picture that moment and remember how I felt. The funeral didn’t suddenly become easy, nod did the grief disappear, but her unexpected presence felt like a gift. Because I wasn’t expecting her to be there, her effort meant even more.

            In a different way, the same thing happened in 1997 when Pam and I celebrated our commitment ceremony. It was a difficult time. Some friends had walked away after learning I was gay and even my own parents struggled with the decision to attend, so there were plenty of reasons to focus on who wasn’t there. But then something unexpected happened. My great-uncle John and great-aunt Betty decided to fly in from Illinois and be part of the celebration. Not only did they come, but they took us out for a simple rehearsal dinner. Looking back, it wasn’t the Applebee’s meal that mattered, it was the effort…their choice to show up for me. I wasn’t expecting it and because I wasn’t expecting it, it touched my heart in a way that is difficult to describe even now.

            Perhaps that is the power of surprise; it deepens our appreciation for the effort behind the gift. We know that someone didn’t act out of obligation or routine, but instead they chose to do something extra. Interestingly, psychologists have found that unexpected gestures often create stronger feelings of appreciation than anticipated ones. The surprise itself amplifies the gratitude and emotional impact. In other words, when people reach out unexpectedly, their kindness often means even more than they realize.

            And maybe that’s one of the ways God works in our lives. Rarely, does God seem to arrive according to our timetable. Instead, God often shows up in surprising ways, don’t you think?  God might appear through a phone call when we need encouragement, a friend who appears just when we are feeling alone, a door opening after another has closed.

            When we look back over our lives, many of God’s greatest gifts were not the ones we planned. They were the ones we never saw coming. Perhaps that is why Scripture is filled with surprises: shepherds becoming kings, fishermen becoming disciples, outsiders becoming insiders, empty tombs becoming places of hope.

Again and again, God reminds us that grace often arrives unexpectedly.

            So maybe the next time you feel prompted to make a call, send a card, attend an event, show up for a friend, or do something kind that no one is expecting, don’t talk yourself out of it. You never know…your surprise might become one of someone else’s treasured memories…and you might just discover that God was working through you all along.

Journeying together in faith and love,

Rev. Candi